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This period marks a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a lover without a word seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive breakdown to the terms this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits signaling a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {